Y’all, I really don’t think I can process Avengers: Infinity War. I’m in such a daze of what the heck I just saw and I can’t even begin to wrap my head around what exactly happened. Over the course of 2 hours and 40 minutes, The Russo brothers managed to cram in SO MUCH STORY into this 19th installment of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. With over 25 superheroes, I honestly cannot fathom how the fuck they managed to pull this off, but PULL THIS OFF THEY DID.
- major spoilers! -
For funsies, all of the characters seen in this movie include, but are not limited to: Iron Man (Robert Downey Jr.), Thor (Chris Hemsworth), Hulk (Mark Ruffalo), Captain America (Chris Evans), Black Widow (Scarlett Johansson), Doctor Strange (Benedict Cumberbatch), War Machine (Don Cheadle), Spider Man (Tom Holland), Black Panther (Chadwick Boseman), Vision (Paul Bettany), Scarlet Witch (Elizabeth Olsen), Falcon (Anthony Mackie), Bucky Barnes my love (Sebastian Stan), Loki (Tom Hiddleston), Eitri (Peter Dinklage wtf), Mantis my love (Pom Klementieff), Nebula (Karen Gillan), Drax (Dave Bautista), Gamora (Zoe Saldaña), Groot (Vin Diesel), Rocket (Bradley Cooper), Star Lord (Chris Pratt), Thanos (Josh Brolin), Okoye (Danai Gurira), Shuri (Letitia Wright), M’Baku (Winston Duke) and literally SO MUCH MORE WHAT THE heck. And of course, a cameo by Stan Lee.
The story is simple and definitely satisfying but does leave you questioning a whole bunch of shit. Like, for example, why did it take Thanos (the purple villain monster with a “ball sack of a chin”) all of the first Avengers movie until now to get the Space Stone from the Tesseract and then this one single movie to get the rest of the six Infinity stones? The more I think about it, the more I think these ending movies for the Avengers story of the MCU are suffering from Harry Potter movie syndrome - that is, they’re cramming everything in at the end with a collecting game. It can’t really be helped though, I think, because that’s what happens when you have 20+ movies about this. Similar to the premise of Deathly Hallows, Infinity War is roughly about Thanos collecting these cute little gems and destroying half the universe so he can perch on his sunset throne. To that storyline, this movie really hits a satisfying nerve of watching him collect these different stones. It gives it a little bit of a Sailor Moon vibe, ya feel? But throughout this treasure chase, there’s so much of every other characters’ stories that it’s somehow both easy and difficult to keep track of everything going on.
There’s the Thor/Guardians/Eitri storyline, the Iron Man/Doctor Strange/Spiderman storyline, the Captain America/Black Panther/Black Widow/War Machine/Vision/Scarlet Witch scenes, the Gamora/Thanos weird shit, there is just a LOT. But The Russo brothers did a great job of delivering on this premise and managed to do so with a splash of color (finally) and humor. And after watching Infinity War, I have a deep desire to go back and rewatch every single MCU property from start to finish.
More important than story though, can we talk about all the characters’ visuals here?! With the exception of Thanos (who is honestly one of the ugliest things I’ve ever seen), it was so refreshing and exciting to see all these characters from different movies finally come together and interact. Think That’s So Suite Life of Hannah Montana but better. My mouth literally dropped to the floor when I saw new!Captain America with his full ass beard and grown out hair and 3/4 sleeves! How dare he! And, we all know Chris Hemsworth looks so much better with his new chopped ‘do and Taika Waititi’d sense of humor from Thor: Ragnarok and he certainly does not disappoint here. I’m always glad to see Chadwick Boseman and I was very distracted when he walked out in his catsuit. I absolutely love and adore Shuri, Okoye, M’Baku, Mantis, and Rocket and oh my god, teen!GROOT broke my fucking heart! BUT I have to say, I was disappointed (but not surprised) at the disrespect given to Mark Buffalo as Hulk; this man is an Emmy winning, Oscar and Grammy nominated American treasure, and they dare reduce him to a bumbling bobble head! I’m of course joking, Mark Ruffalo is and always will be amazing and hilarious. And ugh, I was so sad at the sheer lack of Bucky Barnes, my one true love. Not only was he sporting a weird Jesus look, but we all know what happens to him at the end (rest his soul, for like the millionth time honestly).
Upon leaving the theater, I was pretty much left speechless at the audacious feat that was Avengers: Infinity War but it’s of course not without its problems. Like I said earlier, there’s plenty of plot holes/questionable decisions (A Quiet Place anyone?) but the biggest one for me was Doctor Strange! I knew he was a piece of shit to begin with, but man oh man, he fully saw the 1 in 14 million possible futures of them all coming out alive, and he STILL decided to give up the time stone. What an i d i o t! I’m a decent fan of everyone else in the movie (minus Thanos and Vision) but god I can’t stand Doctor Strange and his airbender moves.
If you’ve been caught up with the Marvel Cinematic Universe or are a big fan of any of those characters listed above, you kind of just have to see Avengers: Infinity War. It’s the first half of the two Infinity War films (and likely the last of the Avengers movies?). And once you do watch it, you’ll finally get all the memes! Oh, the memes 😭.